Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Yao and Scola TEXT! AWESOME
So Yao and Scola text eachother? that is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard. All I need to know is that Dikembe's going to get an AOL screen name and I will piss my pants....
I was thinking:
" NotInMyHouse55 "
or
"CmonMAN55" ...as in "CMON MAN DAS NO FOUL"
POSSIBLE CONVO BETWEEN YAO AND SCOLA
Y: "hey scola whatsup"
S: "I am just combing my magnificent hair. What is up with you YAO"
Y: ".....Halo"
S: "Who is Ronald Artest? I like Battier. If he tries to take my rebounds off the glass I will get argentinian on his ass. MANU TOLD ME HE THREW AN ELBOW AT HIM"
Y: " Manu is a pussy Scola...The only thing worse than a crying Manu is a Crying Tim Duncan"
S: "Ye, u right... gtg xoxo"
Y: " lol, u2 ttyl!"
I was thinking:
" NotInMyHouse55 "
or
"CmonMAN55" ...as in "CMON MAN DAS NO FOUL"
POSSIBLE CONVO BETWEEN YAO AND SCOLA
Y: "hey scola whatsup"
S: "I am just combing my magnificent hair. What is up with you YAO"
Y: ".....Halo"
S: "Who is Ronald Artest? I like Battier. If he tries to take my rebounds off the glass I will get argentinian on his ass. MANU TOLD ME HE THREW AN ELBOW AT HIM"
Y: " Manu is a pussy Scola...The only thing worse than a crying Manu is a Crying Tim Duncan"
S: "Ye, u right... gtg xoxo"
Y: " lol, u2 ttyl!"
Rodman prediction
So, maybe I was pushing it a little for Dennis Rodman. But looks like we got a step up from him...
I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY HARPRING'S LIL' BITCH ASS
I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY HARPRING'S LIL' BITCH ASS
"I'll be a kid in a candy store," Artest said. "I'll be a kid in a store with a lot of candy. I'm going to dance with the stars."
Said Artest: "Boston kind of blitzed the whole league with that trio they have. To pretty much compete for a championship, you need a trio and some great role players. I guess if it's McGrady, Yao and Artest ... I'll let everybody else do the math."
"I haven't spoken to anybody yet," Artest said. "But if that's true [about a Houston trade], I don't even know what to say. I could be amazing. I don't even know the potential."I just think so highly of Mr. Adelman that I can't really speak on it. When I first got to Sacramento [in 2006], he believed in me. I said, 'Coach, we're going to the playoffs,' and everybody laughed at me. He said, 'Ron, we're going to go as far as you take us.' I've never had a coach do that before.
"How can you say no to Rick Adelman? How can anyone not be happy playing for Rick Adelman?"
I get a telephone call earlier today.............
......................
"DUDE, I ALMOST JUST SHIT MY PANTS!!!"
It was my fellow addict calling to tell me the FICTIONAL RUMOR that Ron Artest will be shutting down anyone who wants to mess with the Rockets next year. My wildest wet dreams have come true, and I am up at 3:30 am writing this, because I CANNOT SLEEP!! This is too exciting...
I hope our buddy Thibidouhghobidiouhg in Boston will "shit his pants" when he hears the possibility of having this lineup on the floor....
Yao Ming CENTER
Chuck Hayes PF
Shane Battier SF/SG
Ron Artest SG/SF
Rafer Alston PG
That would be his dream defensive team.... What if JVG had this? Do you think he would grow his hair back? Do you think he might sleep at night? Do you think he would come back as a defensive assistant coach?
DM is a genius. Now, match that line-up to the Boston Celtics' line-up next year, and I am willing to take my chances with whoever we have on the floor.
BUT FIRST AND OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE....
The Rockets need to beat the jazz every time we play them this year, including playoffs...
Get your brooms out, bitches!
"DUDE, I ALMOST JUST SHIT MY PANTS!!!"
It was my fellow addict calling to tell me the FICTIONAL RUMOR that Ron Artest will be shutting down anyone who wants to mess with the Rockets next year. My wildest wet dreams have come true, and I am up at 3:30 am writing this, because I CANNOT SLEEP!! This is too exciting...
I hope our buddy Thibidouhghobidiouhg in Boston will "shit his pants" when he hears the possibility of having this lineup on the floor....
Yao Ming CENTER
Chuck Hayes PF
Shane Battier SF/SG
Ron Artest SG/SF
Rafer Alston PG
That would be his dream defensive team.... What if JVG had this? Do you think he would grow his hair back? Do you think he might sleep at night? Do you think he would come back as a defensive assistant coach?
DM is a genius. Now, match that line-up to the Boston Celtics' line-up next year, and I am willing to take my chances with whoever we have on the floor.
BUT FIRST AND OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE....
The Rockets need to beat the jazz every time we play them this year, including playoffs...
Get your brooms out, bitches!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
10 Years in the Future: Carl Landry Interview
Reporter: "So, Carl, after bouncing around the league for a few years, four of which spent nursing your injured knee, and three spent in the Euroleague, what have you learned from your basketball career?"
Carl: "I know how to dunk really hard, and, um, I can say "Pass me the ball" in a bunch of languages."
Reporter: "And how much money do you have left after leaving the Rockets in your second season for a higher salary?"
Carl: "I got, like, a bunch."
Reporter: "Do you regret leaving the Rockets, noting that the same season you left they signed the now 3-time Defensive Player of the Year, Ron Artest, -and- they won three back-to-back-to-back NBA Championships?"
Carl: "No, well... maybe a little. Tracy won't return my calls, but I spent that extra couple million I got that year on a fancy diamond ring. I think it looks better than a Championship ring, any day."
Carl: "I know how to dunk really hard, and, um, I can say "Pass me the ball" in a bunch of languages."
Reporter: "And how much money do you have left after leaving the Rockets in your second season for a higher salary?"
Carl: "I got, like, a bunch."
Reporter: "Do you regret leaving the Rockets, noting that the same season you left they signed the now 3-time Defensive Player of the Year, Ron Artest, -and- they won three back-to-back-to-back NBA Championships?"
Carl: "No, well... maybe a little. Tracy won't return my calls, but I spent that extra couple million I got that year on a fancy diamond ring. I think it looks better than a Championship ring, any day."
Ron's a Rocket!
Tracy's back always hurts, but you couldn't sit him out - who would come in to carry the load?
Yao calls out his team, saying they lack the heart to win tough playoff games.
Who's going to attack the basket, who's going to hit the open three when T Mac is doubled, who's that third scorer? Who could possibly match up with the Celtics' "Big Three?"
Did you just say Ron? Ron Artest?... A Rocket?
If I may -ahem- a quote from Lewis Carroll:
"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
Monday, July 28, 2008
Bike Riding with the Blazers
The hippy life in Oregon has converted Joel Pryzbilla, Greg Oden and Brandon Roy into cyclists.
"It's addictive,'' he said. "I remember being the type who would say 'Get out of the road you bike rider', but now every time I do something, it's like 'I'll ride my bike over there.' It's definitely something I know I'm going to do for the rest of my life.'' (Brandon Roy)
"It's addictive,'' he said. "I remember being the type who would say 'Get out of the road you bike rider', but now every time I do something, it's like 'I'll ride my bike over there.' It's definitely something I know I'm going to do for the rest of my life.'' (Brandon Roy)