Reporter: "So, Carl, after bouncing around the league for a few years, four of which spent nursing your injured knee, and three spent in the Euroleague, what have you learned from your basketball career?"
Carl: "I know how to dunk really hard, and, um, I can say "Pass me the ball" in a bunch of languages."
Reporter: "And how much money do you have left after leaving the Rockets in your second season for a higher salary?"
Carl: "I got, like, a bunch."
Reporter: "Do you regret leaving the Rockets, noting that the same season you left they signed the now 3-time Defensive Player of the Year, Ron Artest, -and- they won three back-to-back-to-back NBA Championships?"
Carl: "No, well... maybe a little. Tracy won't return my calls, but I spent that extra couple million I got that year on a fancy diamond ring. I think it looks better than a Championship ring, any day."